literature

a ratio of freckles to stars

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insomniaplague's avatar
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Literature Text

virginia,

you are floating away in
every direction:

a universe
of sunlight & marrow bones
i want to know

your touch
had vertigo then--
a certain horse sadness

i remember how you
would swallow the stars:
watch them glow through your cheeks

(no one told you
what they thought of light & dying
of being a constellation
drawn across your face)

you are the milky way:
a firefly drowning

but i will trail you--
hold your coat above the water

(a star
exploding a million miles away
with a number for a name)
I don't really think this is any good, but I can speak in sync with this song Hammock's "Together Alone. ( [link] ) That's good enough for me.

This has nothing to do with the Halou song of the same name. Save, of course, the topics are alike.

I just wanted to do a little bit of explanation...This is a love poem of a sort, but not to who I wrote it for, Virginia Woolf. When I read her book, "Mrs. Dalloway" I was struck with the love scene between Clarissa and Sally. I had never...read anything like that before. It was so--sweet, expressive? I don't know. It struck me.

The first two stanzas (the name is a stanza, yes) are a reference to VW's suicide, the way she seemed to be floating away in her suicide note, the way she seemed so far gone. The third is a depiction of her writing--a universe comparison that ties the poem together. Her "touch" in the follow stanza is, again, speaking of her writing--of the way Clarissa was dizzying herself on the way to see Sally, of the sudden expression that made me almost sick when I realized how I felt that. The "horse sadness" is the way it all struck me--with that enduring kind of tragedy (the same kind you can see in VW's eyes.) The next stanza follows the universe theme again, and if you read the scene of Sally kissing Clarissa you would understand the "stargazing" references. The last three stanzas go back to VW's suicide; of my loyalty to her (holding her coat :XD:), of the way her work writes universes...and again, that "stargazing" theme.

This is a light explanation; this has a world inside.
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prettyflour's avatar

Hey there,

 

Prettyflour here on behalf of :iconPoeticalCondidtion: with the critique you requested.

 

I haven’t read ‘Mrs. Dalloway’ but after reading your poem (and your comments) I think you’ve done a really nice job honoring your reference. Although I appreciated your comments and explanation, I feel as though I didn’t need it- your words told a story, one I could follow, and the imagery in this is just lovely. You definitely nailed the stargazing theme! 

 

The way you structured this works well, and the entire poem flows really beautifully. Overall, an enjoyable read which I very much liked.

Thank you and have a great night.