The work starts off quite nice but in the 'end' perhaps it sort of drifts. I mean the start is a very nice expression - thought if one thinks too hard, it turns confusing - till "all our pretty worlds" it goes well but the next... well it did register but it didn't sound like an ending. That said, it is emotional and so I guess I am fine with it coming this way
Okay, sorry, this is just a rather lazy poem. XD Thank you for the critique! This was one of the many poems I made that I never had an "ending" too, so I just tacked something on. Hence, it sounds a little bumpy. I'll see what I can do, and make sure I smooth it out in the future.
Hopefully it's just frustration/depression that's made you say you "...need to stop writing this emotional shit." Isn't EVERYthing you (one) write(s) "emotional shit"? You may as well not bother writing then. Don't be silly. It's what makes it yours.
...unless maybe you're just disappointed by this poem. It's not one of your best, but they all can't be gems. Just get on with it already, and don't be a silly, little girl. You're much too talented to throw away emotion even if that were possible; just embrace it and cherish the ride. <3 ~~
I meant more so that my poetry is a direct reflection of my emotions, often, and I feel like "shit." Hence, my poetry comes out far more emotional than I'd like, and the emotions normally aren't very positive. Looking back through my gallery you may notice most of my pieces are far happier. (I don't like admitting it, but I was horribly in love & my poems show it, although that's fizzled to nothing by now.) So, I was more demeaning my emotions and the state of the poem. (In a way saying I need to be more positive and I also need to improve the quality of my poems.)
I'll take your advice to heart, though. Thank you for it.
Just remember that no matter what you write, it is like a photograph which freezes that moment in time; it will NEVER come again no matter how hard you try. ...so, happy, sad, good, bad -- whatever the emotion, the moment should be celebrated and cherished because it is new and fleeting and irreplaceable. ...and hopefully it can be used to change the future for the better.
"...horribly in love..." Now THERE's an oxymoron for you. You have many years and much love to look forward to; it should only get better. It may be difficult to realize at the time, but it all should be for your own good. Cheer up, pilgrim; you cannot do anything to change or control the past. Look forward and use what you have learned, my child. ~~